The Dating Game

Dating, it's fun and exciting...it's nerves and excitement all in one! The thing is, it isn't a game. As long as I can remember there have been game shows about dating. Really it is sad to let some game show host decide what your love life will be like. I imagine those kinds of shows are exciting for the people on them, but my guess is they are rarely effective.

When you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend you feel loved and accepted, maybe in a way that you don't at any other time. That is what marriage is like in some ways, only marriage is much better. You are loved and accepted in the context of a life long commitment. Unconditional love can only be truly experienced in that context. If it is love you are seeking (and we all are) then you should start by making sure you have developed a good relationship with the one who is most committed to you...Jesus! His commitment was completely sacrificial and He is committed to your well being more than anyone ever will be. In the story of Ruth she gets here relationship with God right before she ever meets Boaz.

In the end dating isn't about feeling loved for a moment, a day, a week, a month, or even a year. Dating is about finding that person with the right character and values. Dating is about finding a person who will be comitted to loving you for the rest of your life, not a person who "falls" in love with you and might just as easily "fall" out of love with you. Boaz went to great lengths to make sure that Ruth was taken care of, he was committed to her for as long as they lived. He wasn't the kind of guy that was going to give up and go away nor was he the kind of guy that would later turn his back on a commitment he made. Ruth was the same way she was in it for th long haul. That's what dating is about. As soon as you realize that the person you are dating is not that kind of person...end the dating relationship. The longer you put it off, the harder it gets to end it. If your not careful you will end up married to someone you should never have married.

One last thing. A couple of people have asked me how you go about asking a girls dad if you can date her. Let me give you a couple of ideas:

• First, you may want to go on 1 or 2 dates to make sure she is interested. Going on one or two dates is not a relationship. On those dates I would highly recommend not even holding hands. Holding someones hand only tells you the temperature of their body which is probably close to 98.6 degrees (mine is closer to 97.6...must be Minnesota blood).
• Second, if there seems to be a desire on your part and her part to actually have a relationship, then it is time to go and talk to dad. If it is possible do this in person
• Third, her mom and dad are always "Mr." and "Mrs." Be respectful and honest.
  
• Fourth, let dad know your commitment to his daughter is honorable and that you take a dating relationship seriously. Because of that you are committed to being honest and forthright in the relationship.
• Fifth, make a commitment to yourself, your girlfriend, and you her parents to stay pure...but make sure you follow through on it. As a dad who has a daughter who will one day be dating I can assure you that if that commitment was made to me I would want to do everything I can to help the couple accomplish it and I would be very upset if that commitment was broken. That doesn't mean there wouldn't be grace and forgiveness, but I might have to go off by myself and cry for a couple days.

I am going to do another post later this week about how far is too far.