Why is sex before marriage such a big deal?

Sex...just saying the word can cause a persons mind to wonder in certain directions. What is the big deal? Why does God tell us in Scripture to avoid "sexual immorality"? What is sexual immorality? Is sex before marriage really that bad?

Those are some great questions!! Sex is a big deal, but not for the reasons you might think. It isn't a big deal because God is a kill-joy. It isn't a be deal because a bunch of strait edged Christians decided "fun" was the devils tool. Sex is a big deal because God designed it to be something great!! It's kind of like this, you don't buy a great game system for a three year old. they will simply take the controllers and break them. Sure they might try to use the system, but they do not have the right experiences, maturity, and commitment (they didn't have to raise the money to buy it) to operate it the way it is intended to be opperated. God created sex to be great and amazing for people who have the right experiences, maturity, and commitment to participate in sex. When it is not used in the right context it can be damaging to a relationship instead of good for a relationship.

God is all about relationships, He created mankind to have a relationship with him and he created man and woman to have a relationship with each other. These are good things!! God wants people to have the best relationships possible. Sex is a physical intimacy that caries with it an emotional and even spiritual connection. It is not optional, you can't turn off those connections and I am not sure why you would want to. Sex in the right context (between one man and one woman inside the commitment of marriage) is great and those connections bring the two people involved close together. Sex actually is good for a marriage relationship. When there is not physical intimacy taking place inside of marriage there are likely problems. Hebrews
Hebrews 13:4 tells us clearly that we are to keep the marriage bed pure. The problem is this sexual intercourse isn't the only thing two people should not do outside of marriage. Some have made the mistake of believing that everything except intercourse is acceptable. The problem is this Intercourse itself is not where the spiritual and emotional connection takes place. The connection takes place in all forms of physical intimacy at different levels. The more physical a couple become the more they are connected emotionally and spiritually. That is why there needs to be a commitment surrounding deep expressions of physical intimacy. We should not be asking "how far is too far?" instead we should be asking "what is good, wise, and honoring to God in a relationship?" When we ask the first question we are trying to get as close to sin as we can without sinning. In one sense this is itself a sin. Our attitude is not a Christ like attitude. The second question is one of submitting to a wise God who has our best interests in mind.

Sex outside of marriage dulls the senses and limits the quality of future relationships. Having sex with several people trivializes sex and in so doing trivializes marriage. The best sex is found only in marriage and the strongest marriage relationships will be ones where the couple did not have sex outside of marriage.

Twilight

Usually when you see a movie involving vampires you expect to see a lot of violence, gore, and blood. In the case of Twilight there is some violence and blood, but in reality it is very mild considering the fact that it is a vampire movie. Instead we find a romance surrounded by all kinds of different relationships. There are relationships with parents, with friends, and with those who are...different.
At Rock student ministries we are beginning a series based on the book of Ruth. This book has a lot of similarities with Twilight the movie. There is a romance, relationships with parent, friends, a those who are...different. As we go through this series I am going to be blogging about the topics we cover each week. Relationships are difficult and the decisions we make in regards to these relationships often impact us for the rest of our lives in ways we may not even be aware of.
Check out the blog every week for some added insight in regards to relationships.

Heroes

I'm sitting here watching Heroes, one of my favorite shows and looking at facebook. I found this picture of my Gpa on my uncles facebook. The show Heroes makes people who have special powers out to be the heroes, but in real life (at least in mine) heroes often come in different shapes and sizes. My Gpa can't fly, read minds, or any of those other things, although he could out work me like I was standing still back in the day. He is one of my heroes.

My Gpa taught me the importance of reading and studying scripture. He taught me that nothing I had to say was that important unless the Bible said it first. He taught me the value of hard work, and he taught me that no matter how long I read and study scripture I will always have more to learn and more ways to grow spiritually.

Recently my Gpa and Gma came out to Colorado with my parents. It's always good to see your heroes.

Who's your hero?

Things I'm Thankful For

• My family both immediate and not so immediate. It is amazing that family can sometimes cause the most stress in a persons life, but it is that same family that more often then not continues to love when things are far from perfect.
• My wife is not only the love of my life, she is the one who encourages me, lifts me up when I am down, and always seems to be there when I need her.
• My kids are both amazing!! They are so different from each other, but they both love Jesus and I believe and pray that will never end.
• The friends I have made throughout my life.
  
• My new church family here in Littleton, CO
• This truly is a real church for real people
• My partners in ministry (my staff)
• My staff makes everything possible. They love God, and they love students. I love all of you, and keep serving Jesus.
• The group of students that I have been given the privilege of pastoring.
  
• Perhaps most of all I am thankful for a savior who loved me (and You) so much in spite of my sins and failures, that he decided to come to this earth take the form of man, die on a cross, and rise from the dead so that I could be in his presence for eternity.
  

What happens at church stays at church!

Young kids have this naivety about them that is so refreshing. So often in the Scriptures we see God use young people to do his work. I am convinced that this is because they are naive. They haven't developed a system of does and don'ts or some philosophy that keeps them from serving God. They haven't developed all the boundaries that determine what is socially acceptable and what is not. They just don't know any better.
As some of you know my daughter recently tried out for the talent show at her school. She decided to do a ventriloquism program which included some conversation about Jesus and the song Jesus loves me. Originally she wanted to do a very serious program about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. My wife in her wisdom helped Catrina bring some humor to the program. After the tryouts she was asked not to sing a song about Jesus or talk about Jesus.
This morning she is going to show the program to her principal to see if she can do the program with all the Jesus stuff in it. No matter what happens we can all learn a lesson from a naive 9 year old girl. The lesson? What happens at church shouldn't stay there.
Catrina knows Jesus loves her and died on a cross for her sins. She knows that none of us are perfect and that those who do not follow Jesus are going to go to hell. She wants to tell other people about Jesus so they don't go to hell. It's so simple, but we make it so hard. Most of us have developed boundaries with our faith. They are not boundaries that God puts on us; instead they are boundaries our culture puts on us. Our culture wants the things that take place in church to stay in church. God commands us to bring Jesus to our lockers, our class room, and our life. Perhaps we should work on developing that naivety. Maybe it is not boldness we need, but instead the lack of respect for cultural boundaries that keep us from obeying God's commands.
Don't let the world tell you how to live your faith, that is God's job!!

Accidents Happen!!

Last night we had a great student ministry meeting. We had a pretty creative game (I made it up) that fit in with the message of the night. We had a powerful message focusing on the work of Jesus, and we had a good worship time. The accident didn't happen until later though.

We had four students put their faith and trust in Christ last night. One of our leaders took a couple of student out for Ice Cream. One of those students and her brother were headed home late and got in an accident about a mile from the church. By the time I heard, I was already home. I jumped in the car and headed for the accident site.

So many times we (including myself) don't think accidents will happen to us. A few years back I was in a motorcycle accident. I wasn't driving reckless, but I wasn't wearing my helmet either. I was able to walk away with just a few scratches, a sore ankle, and some ripped jeans. I didn't hit anything and the accident was partly due to a mechanical failure. Still, accidents happen!!

Last night could have been worse. The students involved had only very minor injuries. Accidents can happen to any one at any time the question is, are you prepared? I believe and I hope that those two students, had the accident been worse, would have ended up in heaven. If an accident happens to you are you prepared? What if an accidents happens to one of your friends? Have done everything you reasonably could to make sure they are prepared? Those are tough questions, but important ones.

God-Esteem

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, "wow am I good looking" or "no wonder Saturday night is the loneliest night of the week for me"? I have probably said both of those to myself at some point. There are some people who seem to be a member of the "beautiful people" club from birth and then there is the rest of us. Unfortunately our world and our society have put a significant amount of value on beauty. What does God say about beauty and self-esteem?

For some the first verse they want to point to when the topic of self-esteem arises is Mt. 22:39. this verse tells us to love others as we love ourselves. This sounds good, but in reality it doesn't really fit. Those who struggle loving themselves will struggle loving others. What does that accomplish?

There is another approach to this problem that I think will help. Simply put it is this love yourself as Christ has loved you. I wish there was a verse that said this exact thing, but there is not. There is no one self-esteem verse. Instead there is a steady diet of love coming from Jesus towards us. There are passages like Ephesians 5 (especially verse 2) that speak of the great sacrifice Jesus gave for us and then there is the words of Jesus that proclaim, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends". Considering the fact that Jesus later gave His life up willingly and without complaint for us, perhaps we can assume that Jesus had the greatest kind of love for us. When we consider the issue of self-esteem we must take this one step further. If God created us and loves us that much wouldn't it honor God to love ourselves and wouldn't it dishonor God to hate ourselves?

This is easy to say and hard to do. It has taken me years to come to the point where I can love myself simply because God loves me. Even now I still struggle with loving myself because I keep trying to measure my worth by what I can accomplish or how good of a person I am. The problem is I am not that good and I often fail. What am I left with? The love of God!!

I strive to please God out of worship and love for Him, but I know that when I fail, God's love expressed in the cross which satisfied His anger and justice lifts me up to be righteous in His eyes.